About Inconsistency

Honestly, I can’t think of a better title for this piece. But I wanted to talk about a few things.

To begin with, I want to believe I have good ideas, and that they are worth sharing. But to my cruel misfortune, I can only imagine myself doing it in my head: me in front of a huge audience, regurgitating my so-called illustrious words, only to be bathed in applause from an audience that, conveniently, does not exist. I stop and watch myself being such a pretentious person in my most “deep” (shallow) fantasies.

Dreaming does nothing for me if nothing happens in reality. A logical fact that follows us all regardless of our condition. And that is why I started putting my ideas on paper. At the very least, I hope to be heard, understood, or maybe confronted. :D

But that does not erase the great obstacle that has me chained down: a lack of discipline. My father always repeats a saying that goes, “discipline will one day beat intelligence,” and indeed, it has brutally humiliated it for a long time, at least from the perspective of my own story. Being me and without looking for many complications, the solution lies in simply “doing.” It sounds simple, but it is very difficult, especially when one is used to the miserable comfort of doomscrolling. :‘D

Let this be my reminder: I must stop dreaming up hypothetical scenarios in my head that, no matter how much temporary comfort they give me, no matter how brief an escape from reality they offer, do nothing tangible for me or my interests.

Let the solution begin with writing at least one entry per week in this space. Maybe that way I will recover the habit of writing…